It’s Black Friday, and fishing sucks.  We’re still waiting for schools of big migratory stripers to enter our part of the Chesapeake Bay. If they come at all this year, don’t be surprised if it’s the week before Christmas. You’ll want to fish then, so you might as well get your shopping over with now. Here are a few tips to insure you have a successful holiday gift-buying season:

Fishing Buddies – You buy gifts for fishing buddies?  Weird, but since you do, your first choice is obvious:  a copy of Chesapeake Light Tackle, An Introduction to Light Tackle Fishing on the Chesapeake Bay.  Just click the link and I’ll sign it and ship the next day. Of course, your buddies probably already have it, so go with four or five packs of Bass Kandy Delights (BKDs).  You can get them at your local bait shop, or order them direct from the manufacturer. Make sure you throw in some 10” chartreuse ones, because it’s that time of year.  If you’re buying for a buddy who you fish with often, pitch in a dozen jig heads, that way you won’t feel bad when you ask to borrow one. Extra points if you made them yourself. 

If you feel the need to give more than five packs of lures and a dozen jig heads, see the categories below.  Of course, you can always go with booze.  Buy decent liquor since you want them to feel obligated, but don’t go too expensive because the cheap bastards probably won’t know the difference.  Stocking stuffers:  That’s even weirder, but if you must, get ‘em beef jerky. You can’t go wrong with jerky – either beef or venison and always peppered, never sweet.  Hot Hands chemical warmers are also good for guys who don’t like to hold hands while fishing.

Good Fishing Buddies – Okay, c’mon, this is a layup.  Get them exactly what you wish your wife would buy you. A new 6’ 8” extra fast action, medium weight, high-modulus casting rod should work, but don’t rule out that new Revo MGX reel.  Booze works here too, but this time you gotta go top-shelf.  If he or she is a whiskey drinker, look for something from an American micro-distillery. I’m not talking Pappy Van Bullshit here. Have you tried the new Dry Fly bourbon from Washington state?  Better yet, any whiskey drinker will love a bottle of oak-barrel aged anejo tequila. Don Julio or Herradura is nice. If he or she isn’t a whiskey drinker, ditch ‘em.  You need fishing buddies with better taste.  Stocking Stuffers:  300 yards of 15-pound-test PowerPro marine blue super slick braid, or a $25.00 gift card to a local bait shop.

Very Good Fishing Buddy – All the Above.

Very Very Good Fishing Buddy – If you’re the kind of guy who takes pictures of your fishing buddy with his shirt off and saves them in that special folder on your desktop labeled “industrial spreadsheets” (not that there’s anything wrong with that), consider something extremely practical.  New tires and bearings for the boat trailer would be perfect, or how about a bonefishing trip for two to Belize or a romantic redfish excursion to the Texas coast?  Just slip him the gift certificate for the trip and smile when he invites you along.  If he doesn’t invite you, delete the pictures.  Stocking Stuffers:  Tickets to the next Adele concert, a framed picture of the two of you standing together with your shirts off, or sweet beef jerky.

Wife – She’s probably already given you her list.  If not (and even if she has), think jewelry.  Every woman will tell you to buy a practical gift.  That’s just a trap to see if you’re paying attention.  Always give jewelry. By that, I mean bling like a tennis bracelet, string of pearls, or diamond stud earrings. Pass on the feather pendant that looks like a Rooster Tail or the Daredevil spoon earrings.  Never give underwear, no matter how hot you think she’ll look in it, and no, not even a Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. Trust me on this one.  Spend some bucks on jewelry and use a credit card so she can look it up, and always get a gift receipt.  Stocking Stuffers:  Bert’s Bees, George Clooney DVDs, and more jewelry.

Kids – Easy one, it’s gotta be a fishing outfit or a gun.  If they’re under six-years-old, go with a spinning outfit or a BB gun.  Over six: baitcaster or 12-guage pump.  Applies to both boys and girls. No other options.  Stocking Stuffers:  iPhone apps, candy, and ammunition.

Mentor – By mentor, I mean someone who has taken you under his or her wing and shown you the ropes.  You know, maybe they told you about a top-secret honey-hole or showed you a guaranteed fish-busting technique.  And don’t forget someone whose website you read for fishing tips or holiday gift buying advice.  Always go with booze and never anything short of top-shelf.  (Jack Daniels Single Barrel, Balvenie Doublewood, or Casa Noble Anejo are probably their favorites.)  Stocking Stuffers:  Mini bottles of the above.

Girlfriend – See “Wife” above, but disregard the advice about underwear.  (If you have a wife and a girlfriend, pay cash for the underwear, and forgo the gift receipt.)  Stocking Stuffers:  Sweet beef Jerky.

All You Have To Remember:  Buddies = tackle. Wife = jewelry.  Kids = guns. Mentor = booze. Girlfriend = underwear.

Any questions?

Suggestions?

Related posts:

Holiday Gift Guide for the Ladies

Posted Thursday, November 22nd, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Filed Under Category: Fishing Reports
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18

Responses to “CLT Holiday Gift Guide”

  1. Bill M says:

    Funny!
    Wolford’s Reserve be nice.

  2. CharlesM. says:

    Freaking hilarious. Good advice in there too.

  3. ES Fisherman says:

    I guess you’ll be expecting a lot of top shelf booze under the tree this year! Happy holidays and as always, thanks for the advice.

  4. Clive J. says:

    I must admit that I am one of the guys who buys gifts for my fishing buddies. I enjoy doing it very much but not the kind where we take our shirts off. I do like whiskey but it doesn’t like me so I’ve been dry for 14 years and very happy. With all that said, I enjoyed this very much and I am looking forward to investigating that MGX reel and super slick line.

  5. Gitzit 2 says:

    Great read, Shawn….LMAO!
    As you know my fishing buddy is my wife. Her list matches yours…but she doesn’t like baitcasters.
    and she passed on jewelry last time so we could repower with an Optimax!

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  6. KennyC says:

    Screw the fishing stuff. I would like to know where I can buy those pinups?

  7. ES Fisherman says:

    I just picked up a new jigging combo and spooled it up with super slick. I had always used the regular power pro and the super slick seems much thinner and is definitely smoother. Hopefully I’ll be giving it a test run next weekend.

  8. Daniel says:

    I’m having a very hard time deciding which of these pics is my favorite. And what exactly is “Wolford’s Reserve?” By the way, you can get Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel…by the Barrel. Ever wanted to sniff your favorite fishing buddy’s bunghole? You will, if you buy him a whole damn barrel of whiskey…PS don’t buy your fishing buddies a kerosene space heater for his Parker cabin cruiser. Just sayin…

  9. Superdink says:

    mY dad sez’ wats wrong wid dat boy an stop puttin picters of my mOm on der dat jUmbo sents and sTuff,
    and leV dEm bABie rOckfIsh alon he sez to..
    hahaha
    mErrY tHANSfivin to an sTuf hahaha
    nEwports in GaradgE to

  10. Capt Jimmy Tilghman says:

    It appears that the previous article on “Networking” is related to the “Holiday Gift Guide.”
    I’d be happy to share what I know about the CBBT right now for some of those gifts described above. This is only valid before all the masses desend to the specific locations only know by a few at this moment in time.
    I can also tell the difference on a sonar between a miniature bottle of Jack suspended at 8 feet and a 16oz Pepsi bottle suspended at 16 feet.
    And still have the ability to catch both.
    Finally, never take pictures of your fishfinder if you can’t catch the fish depicted on the screen.
    Cram that.

  11. Steve F says:

    I think a nice 6’6″ M/H with a fast tip Custom Rod would be nice for any fishing partner. I know just the guy to build one…. 🙂

  12. Tony says:

    Classic!! And I was just about to place an order for 8 books.. whew.

    Thanks for the laugh, great post!
    Tony

  13. TGB says:

    I have a friend in Calvert that said that boy Superdink isn’t doing so good. Anyone heard from that boy or his Mom?
    TGB

  14. Lou Banditin says:

    Mr. Kimbo;
    Can we get a report already?
    lb.

  15. Dean says:

    Going to get legendary book for a buddy of mine in Connecticut. He fishes down here with us once a year on the flats. A good gift from him would be a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle.

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